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Rationalist Judaism

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Monday, October 3, 2011

How Do You Turn a Man Who Isn’t Ready for Commitment into One Who Is? | Jew In The City

How Do You Turn a Man Who Isn’t Ready for Commitment into One Who Is? | Jew In The City: "Orthodox guys, though, they live a life of restriction until they get married! The laws of shomer negia (which Orthodox Jews are supposed to observe, though surely not all do) keep single men (and women) from touching any non (immediate) family member of the opposite sex. (As an aside, there's a debate, but people in my circles will shake hands with members of the opposite sex who are not family members in order to not embarrass them. In more right wing circles, they don't.)

What shomer negia does to guys (and to girls, to some extent, though we generally need less motivation) is help them get past their fear of commitment because they are NOT having their cake and eating it too. In addition to the physical motivation to commit to a woman, Orthodox men grow up in a society where marriage and family is at the center of life, and where friends and peers marry at younger ages."

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